Feeling empty? How about a $615 “paper” bag?
I’m not sure why you’d want a leather bag that is “paper thin” and “crinkles” just like a paper bag, but if you do, here’s your chance!
For only $615 — which would buy hundreds of perfectly fine canvas bags (and a bajillion paper ones, you know, if you wanted to go for the authentic paper bag look as opposed to the designer poseur deal) with the same look — you can have Proenza Schouler’s latest offering. BTW, it also comes in black, in case you want the, um, rock’n’roll paper bag look.
If it seems over-priced for an unlined basic, hey, just look at it this way: It has a designer label and an interior pocket.
Such luxury!
Worst sales ad ever: Harvey Nic’s headless shopper
Can’t help but think this might be an insult to their shoppers, but here’s the ad for the upcoming Harvey Nichols sale (which starts tomorrow, if you have money to burn):
Met Gala: Some kind of pukey bridal show?
I’ve been rather swamped with work and life and stuff, but today, I found I had the time to click around to see what people wore to the Met Gala. Kind of liked a couple things, but I’m a bit baffled by what I can only describe as Bridal Chic trend sweeping the red carpet:
Country Bride, Sexy Bride, Rave Bride, Prom Bride, and Amish Bride: Together at last.
See what I mean? All that white fabric. Sure. There were black dresses and blue dresses and red dresses. But so damned much white…
Very subtle, Jessica.
It was just odd. It’s not like this is one of those Black & White balls or some tacky P. Diddy affair.
And yet, it looks like half of Hollywood woke and thought, “I’ve made it through the wilderness. Somehow I’ve made it through…being invited to this event makes me feel like a virgin. Dressing for the very first time. Yes! Bridal/virginal white it is!”
Then again, perhaps there was some wishful thinking at work…
Either way, if these heifers think they’re going to make white the new black, I’m first going to call the NAACP, then I’m calling BS on the whole trend. Unless they come up with a way to keep white dresses white and make them look totally non-bridey, this is a total failure. Just looking at these women makes me want to get drunk and hit on someone totally inappropriate while dancing to “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” And that ain’t a good place to be, my friends.
So viva LBD!!! Fight the Power!
And with that, I leave you with…well, I…there are no words…
Et tu, Whoopi & ALT? (From Gawker.com)
Spanx suit: Why not just wear a mask?
Now, see, there are foundation garments, and then there’s the thigh, hip, stomach, butt, chest girdle, by Spanx, of course:
Hmm…95% personal trainer? Sure. If your arms and calves are the only oddly buff parts of you, then the rest of your body could look like it’s been going to boot camp classes every day. Note the “double gusset for convenience for when nature calls.” Now that just doesn’t sound very comfortable. But then, fashion doesn’t have much to do with comfort. Style, however, does. And when one feels like a sausage encased in something sweaty and synthetic, one is probably not very comfortable. And one probably looks it too.
Of course, everyone has that one outfit they have to be their best to fit into, etc., (and boy am I hoping that the dreary combo to the left isn’t anyone’s special outfit). Fair enough. But I maintain, ideally your clothes will fit you as you are, not sucked and packed into a stifling bandage of an undergarment.
It’s tough, I know, to fight the vanity of sizing and to just buy the size that fits rather than the smaller size that looks so pretty printed on a skirt’s label (how many times have you tried to squeeze into, say, a size 8 when you’re really a 12?). But just because one buys a dress in a smaller size, it doesn’t mean one is actually that size. I can buy a vintage Oleg Cassini, but honey, that don’t make me Jackie O. I’ll still be more like Karen O but in the wrong dress.
This drive, coupled with a few unfortunate cuts have led to the muffin-top epidemic. And that folly has led us here, to a place where we’re not just looking at maybe control-top tights — and I do have friends who swear by Spanx — but are looking at diving suits as foundation garments. Enough.
Accept yourself — be healthy (and that might mean actually consulting a real personal trainer) and buy the right size. It’s only fabric, for crying out loud. There’s no shame in wearing a wonderfully made size 8, 10, 12, 14, 16 or whatever your true size is (in good fabric, of course) and doing yourself and your bod justice.
American Apparel: A Bargain and a black eye
I was trying on my millionth pair of black trousers in a changing room at a Notting Hill thrift shop (preparing for job interviews…you know how it is) when I overheard two shopgirls talking about a major sale this weekend at American Apparel. Items for as low as £1! Lots of stock being put out throughout the rummage! Must go!
Alas…a riot ensued and the store was shut down:
Wow. How badly can a person want a pair of leggings?
Guess this is what happens when you announce your massive sale on Facebook…
Uh, is the recession is over?
I’m thinking so. The middle class must consider themselves rich once again, because, frankly, I can’t think of another justification for this (from Net-a-Porter.com):
Cargos for nearly 5 Gs? A ripped T-shirt for over $1,600? Did April Fool's come a day early?
The army-green T-shirt is what kills me. I had this fabulous camouflage one I found in the gomi pile (that would be Japanese for “trash”) in Tokyo and wore for 10 years. This one up top looks like it was taken out of the average teenage boy’s wardrobe, only no teenage boy is dumb enough to pay that much on a shirt he can buy at the army surplus store for $10 and shred just by running around.
Paying big money for clothing is tough to justify, but my stars, if you’re going to pay the equivalent of Paraguay’s GNP on a piece of clothing, make it epic, make it iconic, make it matter, make it be something that transforms you into a superhero when you wear it, able to deflect evil with the snap of a hand-sewn button. And once you’re done with it (if you ever are) then sell it and donate the money to charity.
But for the love of cheese, don’t make your $5,000 piece a pair of cargo trousers.
Brits worst dressed Europeans?
A survey done by Ciao indicates that Europeans aren’t impressed by how the Brits dress, and are especially appalled by how they shop (buying cheaply-made clothes by the binful at places like Primark — which is sort of like Target in these parts, only cheaper and with worse quality). From Ciao’s press release:
Research out today from Ciao reveals that Britain is Europe’s worst dressed nation. 44% of respondents from Ciao’s pan-European membership named Brits as the worst dressed country of all – even beating the Germans, who received 33% of the vote. Perhaps unsurprisingly, most stylish of all were the Italians, with only 3% of people saying that they were badly dressed.
The research shows that Brits are one of the lowest spenders when it comes to our wardrobes, with 85% of us forking out less than £100 per month – the highest percentage of all the countries polled. Even in Germany 58% of people spend between €100 and €200 per month – and in Spain, an amazing 6% say they spend over €500 per month!
While I can sort of see what they’re talking about, I think there’s something screwy about assuming that the more you spend the better you look. That only holds up to a certain point — that is, unless you can design and sew, you’ll have to spend some money buying clothes (as opposed to raw just raw material). But you know, the world is full of people wearing horrendous, yet spendy things. Note who topped the best-dressed couples list (one of them has a noted J.Crew habit):
The research also asked respondents to identify their best dressed power couple of 2010. Top of the list were Michelle and Barack Obama, with 36% of the vote, followed by Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt with 26%. The only Brits to appear on the list were the Beckhams, in third place, with 14% of the vote.
How many bags constitutes excess baggage?
The U.K.’s Daily Mail has a piece today on how much the average woman there, er, here, spends on handbags in her lifetime — and survey says….£4,000 (when the dollar is weaker, that $8,000. Now, it’s just over $6,000). How does that sound to you guys?
Here’s how the survey cited by the article breaks things down:
While the figures may seem monstrous to some, others will be surprised they are so modest.
And in the survey of 3,000 women, around two-thirds said they would like to buy even more handbags, if they could get away with it.
According to the figures, at any one time the average woman owns a total of 17 bags.
Really? Seventeen bags? I counted mine. Oh my — 17, not counting the two fabric shopping totes (those don’t count, right?). Now, that does, however, include the whole lot of the rest: A couple of vintage, inherited ones (one from grandmother, one from stepmom), the $1 faux-fur pouch I bought at a garage sale, the massive patent leather carry-on/weekend bag, etc.
Which brings me to the following point: It’s important to note that the age range for the survey was massive — 13 – 81. At 13, I think the only bag I had was the backpack I used for school. And should I be lucky enough to live to 81, I suspect I might have way more than 17 bags (although I hold out hope that I’ll be better at editing by then…).
But as you go through your 20s, 30s and beyond, if you buy smart, you tend to keep those bags around rather than dispose of them because they’re falling apart or are no longer trendy. So the need for extra shelf space comes with the territory.
Oooh. A show in 3D. Wait. Don’t we live in 3D?
This year’s much-hyped “Avatar” — that futuristic smurf movie where a director insists on inserting his tech wizardry between the actors and the story — has made 3D the hot thing. Again. Probably for the thousandth time since the 1950s.
3D. Three dimensions. You know, the same one’s you wake up to every day. The very ones in which you see your breakfast dishes, traffic and cellulite. Yeah. Those ones.
Well, apparently so great is our need to “embrace the future’ (as the Times reports) that we must, must have our fashion shows broadcast to us as such, complete with funny, whiz-bang designer glasses:
In Dubai, Tokyo and LA they waited, with their special, artfully styled Burberry glasses, waiting for the Burberry show to start streaming live in 3-D from London. It was late — obviously — but only a little, delayed by rain, Uma Thurman and the decision to filter 1,200 people into the label’s tent via an entrance so narrow that it made the eye of the needle look all-embracing.
This is the future: it doesn’t matter where you put on a show any more: within six seconds of the first black, sheepskin-lined flying jacket bouncing down the catwalk they were tweeting and placing instant orders from the globe’s four corners. “I can see you and Samantha Cameron,” texted a colleague in New York. “How’s my hair?” I texted back. Then I remembered the job in hand.
“How’s my hair,” is really what it comes down to. Yeesh. Nothing against technology or 3D, but breathless descriptions such as the one above are just odd and more than a little annoying.
No fakes on Bigwardrobe.com? Ehm, sure.
I have a bit of a love/hate thing with Bigwardrobe.com. On the one hand, I like that it’s there, offering a way for people to swap and sell things that would ordinarily languish in their closets or end up in landfills. Pretty cool, right? On the other hand, I’ve yet to have a good experience on the thing. People keep offering insane swaps for things I’m only selling. Besides which, frankly, I’ve yet to find much there that I’d like to buy. There are so many knockoffs on the site, it’s crazy.
So, I was thrilled to get the following e-mail from Bigwardrobe.com today:
Fakes are prohibited on Bigwardrobe.com
Over the last 24 hours we have removed all items from Bigwardrobe.com which appear to be counterfeit. We have taken this course of action to protect our members.
Many people overlook the implications of buying fake fashion brands. These include inferior design, the cost to legitimate business, health risks from hazardous dyes and chemicals, and supporting organised crime.
Going forward, we kindly ask you NOT to list any counterfeit goods on Bigwardrobe.com.
We monitor the site for fakes on a regular basis and will delete ALL counterfeit listings.
Similarly, if you spot anything which appears to be fake, please use the ‘report this item link’ on the item display page.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Bigwardrobe.com
Terrific! I logged on, went into the handbags section and clicked on “Chanel”. Now, I have no proof, but I’m fairly certain the listing below is for a counterfeit bag:
Why do I think so? Aside from how the thing looks (cheap!) this person is asking for 30 pounds for a Chanel purse and dust bag. And he or she has the very same bag in other colors. So…yeah. Fake. I’m guessing the BW team has a lot more work to do before it can say that it has actually removed all items that seem to be counterfeit. I mean, it took me all of 30 seconds to find this one. Word to the wise: You still need to use common sense when buying items from unauthorized retailers (that includes individual), because honey, there ain’t no such thing as a 30 pound Chanel bag.
Ver-sa-che or Verse-ace?
Ah, my sweet babies, it’s an unfair world. Just because you like the work of a particular designer — hell, even if you buy and wear said designer’s work — it doesn’t mean that you can sound cool trying to read what’s on the label. Out loud, natch. But who cares? Amiright? Well, actually, Glamour.com does.
In an attempt to come to the rescue, the folks there — or at least a couple of staffers — have provided us with a list of hard-to-pronounce designers, labels and brands.
Only trouble is, the list might do more harm than good.
In some cases (Behnaz Sarafpour) it’s just wrong. The name, which is Farsi — aka “Persian” is pronounced Beh-naz (the second syllable sounds just like Nas, the rapper) As it’s written. It’s not Beh-naaz or, or the oddly suggested Beh-noz, as Glamour’s list would have you believe.
With other names, following the list might just make you sound like you’re trying too hard to be a fashion snob (“Eve Sane Laurennnnn” what’s with the hard, multiple n’s when the next bit of instruction is “THE T’s IN BOTH “SAINT” AND “LAURENT” SHOULD BE BARELY AUDIBLE”?).
Personally, I don’t think there’s any shame in not knowing how to pronounce something.
If you’re in a store, just ask, or just say, “I think I like the black bag (by which you might mean the Balenciaga one). The red one (Lanvin), not so much.” It’s not like shopkeeps pop out of the womb confident in knowing how to pronounce Demeulemeester. Someone had to teach them.
Worse yet, the instructions might make you sould like you’re choking or that you’ve suffered a stroke and are swallowing your tongue. Yeah.
What the heck is “Luh-qua”? Even if you’ve never taken a single French class, you’d know that the hard-glottal “qua” sound suggested here is wrong. There is an “r” there, after all, and the French do something very neat with that “r” in their throats.
Glamour would have done better by packing readers off a “La-quoi.”
Here, here’s an AbFab clip that might help, dahlings.
Poofy, billowy dresses still in for next season
When compared to the “wet look” leggings (read: Cheap, shiny spandexy things) and harem pants (dear god, why!?), the could-hide-a cake-under-it dress doesn’t seem that bad.
And yeah. I know. They’re comfortable. And they can be flattering. Just about every girl should have a couple. And no more.
Still, I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of those poofy, empire, babydoll, voluminous, could-double-as-maternitywear dresses. I was sort of hoping they’d go away for a while. Something with more tailoring, maybe a nice sheath, hell, even a sweet T-shirt dress would be nice. Something to show some shape.
Looking at what’s new at various online stores, I see a few more choices than last spring, but still….
Here’s the dress that Nordstrom is not only using to promo its new stock, but has placed as the first item on the dress page:
Blech. And the first dress in Barneys New York’s CO-OP page today (you should see this one..oh, Nelly) is this floral number…
Enough of these tents already. How about some darts and belt or something. Yeesh.
Brit supermarket bans shopping in PJs
It seems that customers shopping in PJs/nighties, or sans shoes, is such an issue in Cardiff, Wales, that a Tesco store there has banned shoppers dressed as such from entering the store. The BBC reports:
Notices have been put up in the chain’s supermarket in St Mellons in Cardiff saying: “Footwear must be worn at all times and no nightwear is permitted.”
A spokesman said Tesco did not have a strict dress code but it does not want people shopping in their nightwear in case it offends other customers.
And some people are furious over being told to go into the store in street clothes.
Elaine Carmody, 24, a full-time mother of two young boys, described the ban as “ridiculous” and “pathetic”.
She said she had regularly gone shopping at the store in her pyjamas until about a week ago when she was turned away when she went to buy cigarettes.
She said she had been “popping in for a pack of fags,” but if she had been doing a full shop “then we obviously would have gone in clothed”.
The story has a photo of Ms. Carmody in her PJs and slippers.
Now, I’ll just say this right up front: I don’t have kids, so I have the luxury of time. I always manage to get dressed before I leave my apartment. I’m not saying I look great. I’m just saying I’m not out in my bunny cami or Snoopy PJs. I can only imagine that being a mom, a working mom, a single mom or all of the above must make for an extremely demanding and at times chaotic life. Not that men aren’t equally guilty of rolling out in sleepwear…
The Dude does not abide bourgeois dress codes...
On the other hand, no one says anyone has to be well dressed to go to Tesco. Just dressed. Which means more than just not being naked. For crying out loud, it takes 20 seconds to slip on a pair of jeans.
While I’m more of Tim Gunn girl, here, I’ll quote Clinton Kelly, of the US version of “What Not to Wear,” on the subject (I’ve interviewed him before — he’s a smart guy and in no way a snob):
Biggest fashion pet peeve: The “casualization” of America
Don’t get me wrong — casual wear is important, and can be fun and stylish. However, on the whole, we’ve stopped caring about what clothing is appropriate for a given situation. Just a few examples: flip-flops are never appropriate for work (unless you work in a spa); pajamas are not appropriate for the supermarket (unless you’ve got the flu and nobody else on the planet is willing to shop for you); and butt crack is appropriate nowhere (that’s right, nowhere).
Amen, brother. And he’s talking about the US, home of the slob.
Anyway, I think the store has a right to set its own dress code, as long as it is reasonable. Besides, expecting that people wear shoes and clothes other than nighties and PJs just doesn’t seem that extreme. Hell, you can still pop in while wearing your sweats, yoga pants, leggings and any old T-shirt. Hardly a tough standard to meet.
Even the damned seek style advice…
…myself certainly included.
But today, I’m referring to a young lady who goes by the name of “Jennifer.” How did I find her? Who knows. I was trolling for something or the other and ended up at a site called “Party411” on a page run by “The Etiquette Queen.”
Anyway. I’m reading along, checking out questions from people asking the very astute EQ what to wear to holiday parties, weddings, etc. and then, I come across this:
Jennifer asked:
My gorgeous [high school-but-looks-older-than-she-is] friend and I are both outgoing and always fight for the “spotlight” at parties. This New Year’s (for a ‘casual’ college party with my friends) she’s wearing tight black pants, a zebra-print tank top with a matching purse. How will I match that outfit?? I want to be classy yet cute and sexy.
Ah yes. And here’s where we find out that the EQ is a kinder bish than I.
Rather than telling the girl to just go with her instincts and pair up them black leggings with a cheetah print body suit and tassled boots (because as in the wild, cheetahs trump zebras. Every. Time. Also, the boots would be more of an investment — perfect for Jennifer’s first gig as a pole dancer. In “the spotlight.”), EQ dispenses the following advice:
The Etiquette Queen says:
That outfit is not classy. Put something together with black and red. Red is “the” color for now. Remember that less is more and you should wear the clothes, not the other way around. A pair of black slacks with a red camisole or blouse and a black jacket. Find a large fabric rose to pin on the lapel or shoulder and maybe red shoes.
While I’m not sure Jennifer would know what a lapel is and might end up pinning the fabric rose to a more tender part of her young self, I remain impressed by EQ’s response.
A tip of the hat to you and your marvelous restraint, Etiquette Queen.
Truestylista -- Style over Fashion 